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Doing My Homework at Plato’s Retreat

by 03/23/2021
Neighborhood: Upper West Side

It’s the swinging 70’s. Everyone I know has tons of sexual partners. I am 28 and only lost my virginity two years ago to a farm boy I met at The Guthrie Theater. The romance continues for a while when I get back to New York, but then, he writes me a Dear John letter. […]

Escort Surgery

by 06/17/2016
Neighborhood: Columbus Circle, Uncategorized

I hated the cold walking west on 58th street, 1am on January 20th. The freezing currents had a way of trapezing down from steel cut condos, making the walls of my nostrils suddenly raw. My arms crossed themselves as I braced my way toward 10th Avenue. I had been in New York for several months, […]

Is My Arched Spine Still Pretty?

by 01/15/2016
Neighborhood: East Village, Manhattan, Uncategorized, Union Square

1. I went into college with virtually no experience, so virginal I believed myself to smell of baby powder. Touching a boy daringly was grazing his shoulder. That was till I met him, a studio art student from England (a would-be dream for high school me). He pursued me in the somehow typical NYU way […]


by 12/31/2006
Neighborhood: Chelsea, Multiple

I troll craigslist searching for traces of my ex. He dates trannies and the dregs of society. I had lunch with him the other day and I said, “Hey Luke, did you put this ad up?” “Oh my god! How the hell did you know!” I wanted to say, it’s really not that difficult when […]

Dom’s Wife

by 11/24/2006
Neighborhood: Astoria, Queens

When you live in an apartment building, you never know who the hell is gonna move in next door. I remember being in my late teens when a Greek family moved out two doors down and an older couple took the apartment. The guy’s name was Dom and he fixed televisions for a living. A […]

Lubricated Intruder

by 10/10/2006
Neighborhood: Murray Hill

Golden slumbers. I slept like an heir apparent, drifting in satin oblivion from Sunday to Monday. I had been away for the weekend. I had visited my family: my nieces and nephews, my successful older siblings, my mother and father. We did wholesome things as sign of our shared familial concern and love. And for […]

Manhattan Sex Clubs: They Have Their Ups and Downs

by 09/24/2006
Neighborhood: Midtown

The sex club looked more like a cheesy New Jersey club than a happening orgy fest. There were balloons on the ceiling and people dancing to seventies music. Most of the people were not very attractive. The women were bleached blondes with frizzy hair and a bit dumpy or with fake boobs. The men had […]

The Midtown Report: Heightened Security Leads to Homoerotic Fondling/Rescue by Dick & Jane

by 09/16/2006
Neighborhood: Letter From Abroad

It never fails. When I venture outside of midtown, something extraordinary happens. My muse, Madelaine, had a graduation party last weekend at a new downtown club. I invited The Prince of Darkness to accompany me. The Prince of Darkness works like the devil, so, needless to say, it’s difficult to get him out of his […]

Mr. Cheese and the Pajama Party

by 01/15/2004
Neighborhood: All Over, Multiple

It is 7:00pm, and I look down at my vibrating phone.  It’s from Mr. Cheese. Interesting.  I had met him awhile back, and he seemed nice enough, so we exchanged numbers.  But I rarely hear from him, and have never had more than a 5 minute conversation with the guy.  Hm.  I wonder what the […]

Making It

by 01/15/2004
Neighborhood: Morningside Heights

Julio, a boyish thirty-one, has difficulty not smirking when admitting to having slept with over seventy-five females. The majority were what Julio dubs “Barnard floozies”: white, rich undergraduates at Columbia University or Barnard College. Julio can list most of their names on a napkin. Those whose names he can’t recall, he can usually remember something […]

Controversial Porn

by 05/23/1999
Neighborhood: Uncategorized

The first time I saw Sharon, she was not physically in the movie theater on 42nd Street, SHE WAS up on THE silver screen taking it doggie style from the pizza boy. The man playing her husband watched. So did the twenty other men in the OTHERWISE empty theater. Neither of the men was particularly […]