You are currently viewing the stories for March, 2006

An Untimely Death

by 03/31/2006
Neighborhood: Upper East Side

Jimmy, the boss, and I are in the basement still mourning the passing of 16A, when the passenger car opens and a white envelope dances out of the elevator. The white rectangle shimmies and gyrates obscenely, beckoning us. We are powerless to resist. As we near the object of our desire, the envelope, and the […]

Just Another Part of the Job

by 03/31/2006
Neighborhood: Bronx, Outer Boroughs

Inside the firehouse, sweeping floors, cooking meals and maintaining equipment are routine parts of the job. However when the doors go up and the rigs go out you have to be as flexible as Gumby, because you do not know what you are going to be faced with next. While responding to alarms, we always […]

The Incident

by 03/31/2006
Neighborhood: Times Square

When I walk through Midtown Manhattan, I think of The Jetsons. One episode in particular, where George and Co. bought a new apartment, and that apartment was taken up by a big space-age crane and placed in an empty hole in an apartment building, thus making it full and round. That’s how I think of […]

I know it sounds kind of cliché…

by 03/16/2006
Neighborhood: Letter From Abroad

So I fell in love with this girl named Kate. And all that remains is this sordid little correspondence that I have left from the beginning our affair. I wish it included all the walks we took on the snowy streets of Detroit or the hours we spent laying in bed daydreaming about tomorrow. But […]

Philadelphia: Its Own Borough

by 03/16/2006
Neighborhood: Letter From Abroad

“Philadelphia is nobody’s sixth borough,” proclaimed the heading of a column in one of Philly’s daily newspapers. “Especially not New York’s,” the column went on to say. The writer was responding to a New York Times article chronicling the migration of New Yorkers to Philadelphia. It noted that Philadelphians themselves occasionally referred to their city […]

The Terrors of Tinytown

by 03/16/2006
Neighborhood: Midtown

If you are of the runty persuasion (for our purposes let’s say 5′ 2″ or shorter – ceiling-skimming 5′ 3ers need not apply) you likely know the terror that is the general admission rock show. You may – as I did for years – swear off the concert hall forever, foregoing its unforgiving expanses for […]

The Lost Collar

by 03/16/2006
Neighborhood: Midtown

The world of magazine publishing in New York is extremely competitive. No matter how talented one is an editor or a writer, one must have contacts in the industry to obtain that first, entry-level job. Mrs. Carpati, my landlady, happened to work at Cosmopolitan in ad sales, and she was glad to introduce me to […]

The Man’s Wallet

by 03/10/2006
Neighborhood: Upper West Side

On a summer evening in 2001, after work and after grilled cheese in the Greek diner on Amsterdam, Jeremy and I are walking through Verdi square, past the 72nd Street station on the 1 and 9, the most treacherously narrow subway platform in all of Manhattan, forever poised on the precipice of disaster. The streets […]

Racing to Teach in Brooklyn

by 03/10/2006
Neighborhood: Brooklyn, Brooklyn Heights

I teach race and ethnic relations at a college to a genuinely diverse (racially, ethnically, economically) student body in Brooklyn. I am particularly fortunate because the students I teach are more than comfortable about speaking out and sharing their own experiences. I enjoy seeing the dynamics between the different groups in the class; they self-divide […]

The Midtown Report: Metrosexual Occupational Forces Have Taken Over Downtown

by 03/10/2006
Neighborhood: Letter From Abroad

At the beginning of February, the city was overrun by rabid sports fans. I went downtown about 9 days before the big foosball game. Streets were barricaded and blocked off. Downtown Detroit had a different type of buzz. Metro Detroiters were excited because so many people would be in town. Here in the Midwest, we […]

Tiny Inhuman Pauses

by Thomas Beller 03/04/2006
Neighborhood: West Village

She was an old lady and for a moment I wanted to kill her. We were at the grocer, and she was taking an inordinate amount of time paying. After a long time spent peering into her purse she handed over a few dollars, and a couple of quarters, and a dime and a nickel, […]

Mother Goes To Hollywood

by Thomas Beller 03/02/2006
Neighborhood: Upper West Side

In April, 1992, I was in Los Angeles preparing to go to the Academy awards as the date of someone who had been nominated for an Oscar–my mother. The Oscars are about Hollywood, about bright, ephemeral glamour, about surfaces that reflect. My mother is not about these things. Yet there we were, an unlikely pair, […]