You are currently viewing the stories for October, 2007

Floor Pounding Polkas: A Croatian Wedding Story

by 10/28/2007
Neighborhood: Across the River, Letter From Abroad

I should have known I was in trouble when I read the wedding invitation and saw that the reception was in the shadow of the George Washington Bridge someplace in New Jersey. The second clue was that the directions were in a foreign language! I was no stranger to ethnic couplings, having seen both the […]

Travels With Travis

by 10/28/2007
Neighborhood: Outer Boroughs, Queens

Travis Barker–he of the Eminem-a-like hip hop wigger lifestyle replete with marital discord (in his iteration it includes a catfight between the old ball and chain and pre-prison Paris Hilton)–yes, that Travis Barker, was briefly my boon companion aboard a rather small US Air carrier for some four hours when the traffic radar in Atlanta […]

A Garmento’s Nightmare

by 10/28/2007
Neighborhood: Midtown

It was a garmento’s worst nightmare–not that I consider myself typical of the type who hustles through life working in the apparel industry. But there I was, literally trapped in one of the notorious bargain stores located in the heart of the Garment Center in New York City. I was in Conway’s on 35th and […]

You’re in the Quiet Car

by 10/09/2007
Neighborhood: Across the River, Letter From Abroad

“Whether you know it or not, you’re in the Quiet Car,” the conductor announced. “That means you have made a commitment to silence. The first obligation is to shut off your cell phones. And just because the train stops at a station doesn’t give you the right to turn it back on to listen to […]

One Snort

by 10/09/2007
Neighborhood: Williamsburg

Cocaine did not ruin my life any more than video games or an overprotective mother ruined my life. Which is to say, not at all. Whether or not cocaine impaired my intellectual abilities (I am not a member of MENSA) is something I’ll never know but as for my physical development (I’m six foot nine) […]