Image and photos by Joe “Kirsch” Curcio
I’m convinced that one of the reasons New York is considered “the city that never sleeps” is alternate side-of-the-street parking.
The truth is, at 8 a.m. in Greenpoint, you stand a better chance of scoring a jelly donut at Peter Pan before they sell out than you do of finding a legal parking spot.
Even on your day off, you have to wake up before the first scent of bacon from the 3-Decker diner hits the air – or risk a $65 ticket.
But two very creative retired guys, known on the block as the Dustys, found a loophole. They don’t move their car at all.
Let me explain.
One morning, as I grumbled my way out the door, I noticed a bicycle pull up next to a car parked on “the wrong side of the street.” Inside sat the Dustys.
I watched as the cyclist handed a plastic bag through the passenger-side window. After a quick inspection of the contents by one of the Dustys, there was an affirming nod and what appeared to be a palmed exchange of cash.
Was this a Greenpoint drug deal? A bookmaker’s payoff?
Nope. Just a bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll and a container of coffee, delivered curbside from 3-Decker down the block.
The Dustys had out-parked the Parking Violations Bureau. Not only did they avoid the hassle of moving the car, but they had figured out how to use the mandatory street-sweeping hour for something they needed to do anyway: eat breakfast.
Apparently, the traffic enforcement agents are much less likely to write a ticket if someone is sitting in the driver’s seat – especially if they offer up a friendly “just us two old guys,” mid-sip wink and a wave, giving the polite illusion of, “Oh, absolutely, officer – we were just about to pull away.”
It’s the perfect Brooklyn get-over, orchestrated by a couple of neighborhood legends. A brilliant bamboozle now forever known in these parts as “Alternate Side-of-the-Street Breakfast”.
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Joe “Kirsch” Curcio is a native and current resident of Greenpoint, Brooklyn. He spent 45 years in broadcasting and entertainment with ABC Radio/TV andNational Public Radio. He has been called “the Garrison Keillor of the East River,” and the New York Daily News described him as “the thumbs and fingers erecting the virtual borough of Kings