Colin Powell, Elvis Presley, and Mario Cuomo

by

06/12/2014

Neighborhood: Kew Gardens Hills, Queens

Colin Powell, Elvis Presley, and Mario Cuomo
Photo by hleung

Often the Jewish dumpster is stuffed with bread: not tonight; but walking home a man in a hat says, “Excuse me. Are you Jewish?” I say “No” because last time I was asked that question I said “Yes,” and three Jews wrapped me in ribbons and made me repeat a lot of strange words.

So tonight I say “No,” and the Jew asks would I please unscrew the light bulb in his refrigerator. Sure, no problem. I follow him to his house. Up the steps and through the door we go. I meet the twin girls and their mother who, after I unscrew the light bulb in the refrigerator, offers me food. I say, “No, no, I’m fine,” but the grandpa snug in the cozy chair has words for me before I go. “You’re in good company,” he says, “Colin Powell, Elvis Presley, and Mario Cuomo unscrewed light bulbs for Jewish people.”

I say, “Well, it was my pleasure,” and see their dining room arranged for a feast. The house smells of seasoned, broiling lamb, and I want to confess that my grandpa was Jewish, stay here, be part of the family, or, if I am not good enough, perhaps they could put me in a chest and pull me out whenever they need to complete a trivial task.

John Oliver Hodges lives in Greenpoint, Brookyln, and is the author of The Love Box, a collection of short stories.

Comments
Rate Story
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

§ Leave a Reply

Other Stories You May Like

Nearby Kew Gardens Hills, Queens Stories

Rockaway Beach Memoirs

by

I was nearly there.Carrying my chair, beach bag and small cooler the fewfinal yards to my usual spot, I [...]

The Bitches of Banner Elk

by

Watch out New York, the hicks are coming!

Direction By Mercy

by

“Here, going? Here, here!” The woman says to the drive and points to the paper in her hand.“This bus is [...]

A Forgotten Game

by

I don’t know who invented the game or whether it is still played today. Slap Ball had a brief vogue [...]

The Tape

by

-1-Once upon a time, there existed a New York City economy where a young person fresh out of college could, [...]