One Lover’s Opinion

by

02/16/2006

2nd Ave. & 5th St. NY, NY 10003

Neighborhood: East Village

Date: Feb 13, 2006

The staff at The Mermaid Inn are eager to meet your dining needs. Please tell us about your experience in the space below. Your opinions and suggestions provide invaluable insight into how we can continuously improve upon both our service and cuisine.

Please visit us again, and soon!

Name: Doug Maloney

E-mail:

Scallops were sort of slimy. Or maybe the sauce was off. Something. My girlfriend’s salmon was burnt, but she loves burnt, so that’s not an official complaint. But she did ask if I was cool with Moby taking her out to lunch. That’s a complaint.

By the way, your Fortune Telling Miracle Fish totally sold me out. I put it in my palm and the head sprang up, then the fin, then the whole fish curled into a ring and rolled under the table. My girlfriend picked it up and slid it on her finger — she’s funny like that. She read my analysis off the package. “You’re in love,” she said. I thought my face would melt off. Then – get this — she took off her glasses and cupped my hot cheeks and told me she loved me, too. But technically I didn’t say it — the Fortune Telling Miracle Fish did.

Actually, >> [see back of card]

>> she didn’t say it straight, either. What she said was, “You know I love you, right?” I said yes, but worried that sounded arrogant — she’s hyper-conscious of my minor narcissistic tendencies. So then I said no. She smiled, took my hands, kissed both palms. We drank wine. Rubbed noses. Fed each other fries, which were spot on, by the way.

But come on – Moby?

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