i’m getting fat. the thing is, i i’m a dominatrix. so i really can’t. it’s not that i’m in the habit of over indulging. my sister just got back from switzerland. so i’m eating her presents. that’s p-r-e-s-e-n-t-s, not presence. i know you’re going to think everything i say is about sex. that’s what happens when you’re a dominatrix.

this guy pete, he mauled me in cross dressing. came right off his haunches. i’d say it was an assault, but there was no touching. i’m quick. that’s because i’m brunette. the thing is, i wanted to kiss pete. he’s the first client i’ve wanted to kiss. lipstick and all. he looked awfully pretty. all dolled up like that. and pink from spanking.

that’s really all there is to tell. that and i ran into odette on the street outside my office. we both have day jobs. odette’s higher up than me, but she’s not as fat. my boyfriend calls it “full.” “odette’s not skinny, she’s just not full,” he’d say. which would be a criticism. coming from him. once, i put him in the black room and made him have sex with a dildo in the shape of a mouse. i told him some famous actor was doing it.

having breasts doesn’t really pay. as a dominatrix. this one client, eddie, told me he’d seen pancakes bigger than me. i turned him into a human ashtray. my body is evolving, my boyfriend says. “you’re not forty,” he told me yesterday. that was supposed to cheer me up. sometimes at night i dream i’m sleeping. my favorite room is the medical room. it’s where i pretend to be a doctor. “what are you wearing?” this one guy asked me. i had him blindfolded. “who wants to know?” i asked. i’m always playing with them. then i put an electric catheter in his urethra.

oh, one other thing. there’s this girl at the dungeon named chloe and she has a crush on me. once i let her suspend me over a client and he came. just like that. i didn’t even have to do anything. chloe took me down and made me kiss her. she was pointing the ultra violet wand at me. then she tied me up like a puppet so she could lead me around. when we got to the front office, the phone girl laughed at me. “look who’s lost all her control,” she said. next thing you know, i peed all over the floor. honest to god. chloe had to get someone to clean it up. when we got back to the room, the client was jerking off. “who told you you could do that?” chloe asked him. i just wanted to get out of there. “do you want me to kiss you again?” i asked her, but she had other ideas. she made me suck the client off. “pretend it’s a dildo,” she said. she was always turning tables. she had the wand pointed at me again.