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The Midtown Report: Heightened Security Leads to Homoerotic Fondling/Rescue by Dick & Jane

by 09/16/2006
Neighborhood: Letter From Abroad

It never fails. When I venture outside of midtown, something extraordinary happens. My muse, Madelaine, had a graduation party last weekend at a new downtown club. I invited The Prince of Darkness to accompany me. The Prince of Darkness works like the devil, so, needless to say, it’s difficult to get him out of his […]

Revising the Footlicker Story

by 05/05/2006
Neighborhood: East Village

1. “Saturday, January 27, 1996. Last Wednesday night, Anna* told me the story of how she made ten dollars letting a guy she worked with lick her feet. From what she tells me, he was really into it–licking her toes, the in-between areas, the heel. She said she even ‘threw in the other foot for […]

A Blues Clues Companion Was I

by 04/20/2006
Neighborhood: Across the River, Letter From Abroad

I, Granny, took the helm at approximately 1200 hours. Steering a true course, all was calm for the day. The squab finished his mess; skies remained calm, no squalls of crying. Grandson and I played toss with a small orange ball and spent hours crawling around. Tumble salts off my legs; giggles of delight. Peek-a-boo’s […]

Talk Your Way Out

by 04/13/2006
Neighborhood: Midtown

On my first day of the assignment I was pointed toward a stack of newspapers and told to find a pair of scissors so I could cut out any articles mentioning Hillary. My supervisor’s name was Jennifer. She was waving an adding machine above her head and ticker tape hung by her face like a […]

Home Address: When NoLita was the Bowery

by 04/06/2006
Neighborhood: East Village

I moved into 292 Elizabeth Street in the fall of 1976. On a Sunday night. I was skipping out on three months rent at 242 E. 10th Street on the corner of 1st Avenue and figured it would be easiest to do when there was less traffic and not many people around. Unfortunately, the Maltese […]

My First Casualty

by 03/02/2006
Neighborhood: Times Square

I had been living in New York for three years before I saw my first dead body. Sure, there were those moments of uncertainty all New Yorkers experience, when stepping into an empty train car and seeing a body splayed out, usually a poor homeless person who certainly smelled like death; but you were never […]

This Fool’s Paradise

by 02/16/2006
Neighborhood: Midtown

Craigslist Love

by 01/19/2006
Neighborhood: Chelsea

After my boyfriend and I broke up, I was lonely so I put an ad on Craigslist. What is it about a man that makes him think sending a picture of his private parts is going to turn a woman on? A little mystery and anticipation is a great thing. I put the ad under […]

Dispatch from under the Overpass

by 01/12/2006
Neighborhood: Harlem

It’s weird, how often you’ll find in out-of-the-way urban areas—below an overpass, next to a river or stream, next to railroad tracks—a pair of jeans, a pair of shoes, unmatching dirty socks, filthy underwear, cast off as if these places were just other rooms, were the private dressing quarters of the damned. I’ve always wondered […]

The A-B-C’s of Flying

by 12/15/2005
Neighborhood: Brooklyn, Rockaway

I have found that the tedium of flying is exceeded only by the greater tedium of waiting to fly — of arriving at the airport hours before takeoff, inching slowly along serpentine lines with the hoards of other bored or frightened fliers, waiting to have my Nikes examined by shoe-sniffing dogs and a magic wand […]

Billionaire Spermatozoa and Deadly Peking Ducks

by 12/07/2005
Neighborhood: Financial District

I, along with the rest of the catering staff, had no idea that the party that evening was for a billionaire when we arrived at the loading dock of the old Cunard Shipping Building by Battery Park. All the details had been kept hush-hush until the last minute. Only when all 70 cater waiters and […]

Cruising Times Square in the 1970’s

by 12/07/2005
Neighborhood: Times Square

I was still young enough to like am radio. I hadn’t been exposed to the much cooler fm stations yet. Sometimes, when we drove into the city, my father listened to Bernard Meltzer’s call-in advice show. It wasn’t so psychology-based, just heavy on common sense and consumer advice. Women could find out how to get […]