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With You Without

by 07/08/2015
Neighborhood: All Over, Featured

Like 16 Google +1 0 Retweet 2 I am writing this on the laptop you stole from me. Remember? No of course you don’t. What an asshole you were! I had gone back to New York to visit my father at Mount Sinai Hospital’s Head Trauma Unit (he had fallen and bashed his brains in […]

The Brownie Caper

by 06/19/2014
Neighborhood: Featured, Gramercy Park, Manhattan

Like 40 Google +1 0 Retweet 5 I once took the New York City police exam on a whim. In the suburbs of Long Island where I grew up, a large portion of high school buddies already had badges and guns by their early twenties. “Dude,” an acquaintance would say from the stool of a […]

Uninvited Guest

by 05/28/2014
Neighborhood: Bronx, Featured

Like 1 Google +1 0 Retweet 1 We were living in a tenement apartment building in the Bronx, and it was full of all things common to such. I was doing the breakfast dishes one Saturday morning when I felt something feathery run over my bare foot. Of course, I already knew what it was, […]

An Education on Avenue B

by 03/23/2014
Neighborhood: East Village, Featured

Like 284 Google +1 0 Retweet 9 In 1971, when I was 11 years old, my world was turned upside down when my parents decided to send me to a Jewish Day School on the Lower East Side. From grades 1 to 5, I’d gone to the Downtown Community School, or DCS as it was […]

The Hedges

by 02/16/2014
Neighborhood: Farmingdale, Featured

Like 18 Google +1 0 Retweet 2 I don't know when it happened exactly, but it happened. I have become a cranky old man, closed and rigid and fixed in my ways, despite the fact that in my youth I’d resolved never to grow up, never to become like all the grown ups who lived […]

After the Graveyard Shift

by 01/28/2014
Neighborhood: East Village

Like 75 Google +1 0 Retweet 8 Always wear a bag on your head if you don't want people to bother you. I figure this out in 1989 while I'm working the midnight to 5am waitressing shift at 7A Cafe in the East Village. It is right across the street from Tompkins Square Park during […]

My Neighbor Cries a Chain Link Fence

by 12/31/2013
Neighborhood: Astoria

Like 46 Google +1 0 Retweet 4 To the young beautiful woman with tears in her eyes who lives above me: now I know why you run in the apartment for hours backandforth backandforth. I know why you don't talk in the hallway. I know because the building is old and my ceiling is thin. […]

Polyester Skirt Suit

by 12/28/2013
Neighborhood: Featured, Prospect Park

Like 3 Google +1 0 Retweet 1 I was wearing a camel-colored Brooks Brothers skirt suit that my father had bought for my mother in the early 80s when garments from Brooks Brothers were still Made in the USA, and people actually bought polyester suiting. My mother disliked its texture and never wore the outfit, […]

Good Humor

by 12/06/2013
Neighborhood: Bowery, East Village, Lower East Side

Like 725 Google +1 0 Retweet 20 The week before my high school graduation, I wandered into the Good Humor ice cream garage on East 3rd Street between 1st and 2nd Avenue, just a block from my apartment. I was looking for a summer job. A friend of the family, a college kid named Keith, […]

Man Kicks Car

by 09/26/2013
Neighborhood: Morningside Heights

Like 26 Google +1 0 Retweet 0 Learning to walk the streets of Manhattan means learning how to jaywalk. When we first moved here, several years ago, from California, I was amazed at others and then at myself for jaywalking even while under the gaze of police officers. Crossing the streets in New York means […]

Katya

by 08/09/2013
Neighborhood: East Village, Featured

Like 109 Google +1 0 Retweet 0 Yellow police tape stretched across the doorframe of Apartment 5. I had walked past this door every day for the last two years, past its tortured wood, pockmarked like the cigarette-burned arms of its inhabitant. The door was so battered, a neighbor told me, from all the times […]

Red Socks

by 07/28/2013
Neighborhood: Midwood, Sheepshead Bay

Like 0 Google +1 0 Retweet 0 Ran into my neighbor Traubman, a regular Gary Shteyngart except much older, on the sidewalk outside our apartment building near Kings Highway, while headed to the B train to Manhattan and wondering how bad my sciatica would be that day. "Where've you been, I've been thinking about you," […]