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Old Enough To Die In Brooklyn: The Mortician’s Lament

by 05/10/2012
Neighborhood: Cobble Hill, Featured

When the previous resident of my apartment, who was still living in it when my girlfriend and I viewed it for the first time, told us that the funeral home downstairs hardly ever held services, the effect on me was less than palliative. Jenna nodded thoughtfully in the way real estate shoppers are prone, apparently [...]

As Elevators Shrink

by 04/16/2012
Neighborhood: Flushing, Pomonok

When had the elevator gotten so small? When I was ten and living on the top floor of a building in the New York City Housing Project called Pomonok -- a word the Algonquin Indians used for Long Island -- I dreamed of stabling my horse in that elevator. The fantasy of actually having my [...]

In The Living Room Of The Beggar

by 04/13/2012
Neighborhood: Brighton Beach, Featured

He sat sprawled on the furthest side of the Q train, nose plumped with alcohol and ears flushed a chili-pepper red -- laughing so hard his breath left two giant spheres of fog on the window. The rest of us were bunched on the other side, in an attempt to escape the stench of human [...]

I Would Have Wasted Those Thirty Dollars

by 04/06/2012
Neighborhood: Bedford-Stuyvesant

There is a siren screaming past outside my apartment but it has nothing to do with me. My roommate is in his room and I wonder what he is doing. I want him to come out so I can ask him what he is doing. But if he did come out I wouldn't be able [...]

Robbed in Bed-Stuy

by 01/08/2012
Neighborhood: Bedford-Stuyvesant

“I was robbed in front of my apartment on Thursday night,” my ex told me the other day. “The guy said he had a gun.” “What?” I squawked, genuinely surprised. It was the week of Thanksgiving. We were meant to be discussing favorite trimmings alongside the turkey, not armed robbery. “So you've lost everything. Keys, [...]

Appearances

by 12/12/2011
Neighborhood: Upper West Side

I bumped into Tim Gunn again the other day. That Tim Gunn, Project Runway guru Tim Gunn. It is Wednesday afternoon, right before Thanksgiving, and I had two seconds to get to the ATM before my son Leo’s ride dropped him off. As I am crossing Broadway, talking on my cell to my mother, I [...]

Aspirational Items

by 12/11/2011
Neighborhood: East Village

It was the mid-90s. I had just graduated from college and had no job but wanted to move to Manhattan anyway. I thought I could manage on what I had in my savings account for a few months until I found a job but whatever apartment I got needed to be cheap. I scoured the [...]

Café Espresso

by 09/19/2011
Neighborhood: Featured, Little Italy, Uncategorized

When I moved to Little Italy in the fall of ’82, my ground floor studio on Mott Street was directly next door to the Café Espresso. This did not appear to be a fact that bore much significance, as the café was a broken down mess of a place, with faded gold letters peeling off [...]

Down The Hall And On Your Left

by 08/31/2011
Neighborhood: Featured, Upper West Side

In the spring of 1989 I rented an apartment on 75th St., between Columbus and Amsterdam. The apartment, if you can call it that, was approximately the size of your average fitting room at TJ Maxx, but not nearly as nice. Though I was thrilled to be paying next to nothing for this space (a [...]

Trying On A House

by 08/02/2011
Neighborhood: All Over, Brooklyn

For the past several weekends, I’ve peeked through the homes of strangers when they weren’t there. I’ve tiptoed through brownstones, crept up the stairs of detached Victorians, and cased the backyards of garden unit condos. In Bay Ridge, I studied the diplomas that hung in a home office. In Prospect Lefferts Gardens, I thumbed a [...]

We Need Someone Who Speaks English

by 07/08/2011
Neighborhood: Midwood, Williamsburg

Before I came to a stop at Bedford and Broadway the workers were attempting to flag me down like I was piloting a rescue helicopter. I’d asked Rob to translate for me in order to get the best guy for the job. Two young men approached the passenger side with hopeful expressions. “You speak English?” [...]

Hung Out

by 06/20/2011
Neighborhood: Park Slope

Looking out my kitchen window, I see a clothesline. It hasn’t always been there. It’s a bit saggy perhaps, and a long length of excess rope is untrimmed and dangling from the knot. But still, I look at this clothesline and feel pride. For it was I who put it there. My girlfriend Victoria and [...]