The Iguana Incident

by

12/31/2006

6th Ave & Carroll St, Brooklyn, NY 11215

Neighborhood: Brooklyn, Park Slope

In Park Slope, Brooklyn, on a week-day afternoon a woman was trying to sell her iguana for twenty-five dollars. She was giving it up for a more traditional pet, like a cat who didn’t need to be constantly put out in the sun to digest its meal but could do so underneath the bed.

“It tastes even better than chicken,” she says. “Plus, it’s healthier, because I never fed it grain loaded with chemicals. It ate what I had.” But I couldn’t imagine them sharing French fries and a hamburger. She looked like the “heavy on ketchup” type. Whereas, it didn’t.

“I’d eat it myself,” she said. “But it’s hard to eat what you once loved.” I’d think that you also wouldn’t want what you once loved to be eaten by strangers.

Luckily, she had no buyers.

They say pets soon look like their owners. I’m happy to say the iguana looked nothing like her. Though, it was hard to get a clear picture of what it really looked like. For now the dominating message its facial expression was trying to convey was, “I’d be much happier on someone else’s shoulder.”

Comments
Rate Story
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

§ Leave a Reply

Other Stories You May Like

Nearby Brooklyn, Park Slope Stories

Good Vibrations

by

In case anyone was wondering, this would be a fine example of the bipolar brain off drugs.

Being Steve Malkmus

by

Like Two Bitter Strangers.

My Mortal Enemy

by

"I was thinking how incredibly great I looked when this red faced, white haired man, wearing a worn out tan-green baseball cap,

Just Another Night

by

Last night was New Year’s Eve.My redheaded poetess friend Irene phoned to invite me to a 20-something party in Bushwick.“You’ll [...]

To The Basketball Playing Men and Women of Letters

by

I recently read a fanciful article in which a literary East/West  all-star basketball game is imagined and scouted. Dave Eggers [...]